A Day With The Big Sister ;Double-E

As we are a week from multicultural day, my sister &* ihave have decided to go get our alfit together at the Palisades Center Mall. imean zamn we had a blast! ;it was funny as well, cause every store that had a sign that read "now hiring" iwent &* applied for it. imean can you blame me though?...ireally do need a job - i`m sitting here doing nothing at home at times ;don`t get me wrong my life if busy with the studio stuff &* cheerleading, as well as school but the job thing is needed for all those activities, but that`s besides the point. we got some food to eat and caught up on the drama &* shid that`s been going on. ifilled her in on everything cause itrust her with my life zeadass. We called Jon to come get us, &* this boy was acting mad reckless &* was complaining about how hungry he was. So we went upstairs to some juice store, &* icould have sworn iseen Steeve starring at from the other side of the mall. Steeve is a kid who use to live at my grandfather`s house but as we grew up, we also grew apart - &*developed some type of hate for one another. But oh well, when Elourde &* ifinally got to her house we put on our alfit`s &* just started acting a fool. We started dancing, &* of course ihad to eat something lolx.

Oh YESS* the web cam was on deck..making video`s as well as taking pictures &* chattin on oovoo with nico - that was the funniest part of the night ihave to say. Elourde &* iwere entertaining her to the fullest with our craziness hahaha!

ihave to say that twas one of the best nights that ihad with her. &* i`m zeadass phinna miss her when she goes off to college - so for me ifeel as if it`s my dutty to spend as much time with my big sister as ican. iloveyou Elourde with all my soul boo*MWUAHS{ !!!!!! } HIGH FIVE:)

A Letter To God

As iwas just a little girl ilet everybody tell me what to do.
I wanted to be like her, her, &* oooh her too{ ! }
Until the day irealized that ;iain`t gonna let nobody bring me down but myself.
Cause islowly learned ihad nobody else but myself.
So iheld my head up really tall,&* told everyone-*
"I`m independent ;N E V E R shall ibe dependent."
But sometimes it feels like ineed you here.
Most of the time ijust wonder....{ ? }

Lord can you hear me calling out for you{ ? }
At times ifeel as if it`s just us two.
While istruggle &* pain ;you protect me through the rain.
You always held me down, kept me strong.
Always wore your crown, taught me right from wrong.

Now lets cut to the chase ;for this is a serious case.
Now the subject is my mother.
UGH{ ! }
I desperately need some space.
All ido is wake up, &* she gets pissed.
I feel as if idied right now-*
Sadly......iwouldn`t be missed.
Sometimes iwonder...
"Lord is this a life leason{ ? }"
If so...it slowly got me stressin`.
I beg &* plead for you to help us get better.
......No answer.
Soooo...is that a never{ ? }
We were never close ;but inever thought it would get this bad.
( Tears roll down my face )
DAMN{ ! }...inever felt so sad.
They all say-*
"Mimi keep your head up"....
"She loves you"....
"She doesn`t mean it"....
Now how the H E L L would you know, are you going through it{ ? }
....Yeah ididn`t think so.

I pray to you every night Lord ;&* yet my spirit remains low.
H E L L O{ ? }...
God can you hear me calling out your name{ ? }
The tears flow every night-*
&* i`m quickly losing in every level slash aspect of this game.
AH{ ! }
Whatever...the games over, idon gave up.
Come get me tonight Father ;iwanna go up.

Now the subject are friends.
Notice how it "ends"{ ? }
Their gone Lord, their gone.
The year of twenty ten.
Thought this was suppose to be a good year.
UGH{ ! }
Will this nightmare ever end{ ? }
Best friend told me...
"No, mimi keep your faith strong. Never shall the Lord do you wrong."
He`s right, he`s right.
I think ican, ithink ican.
Oh no Lord{ ! }
Their fading away ;&* all ican do is stare.
The pain is running deep-*
&* it`s too hard, it`s just too hard to bare.
YES* i`m selfish{ ! }
I DON`T WANNA SHARE, I DON`T WANNA SHARE, I DON`T WANNA SHARE{ ! }
Lord why have you seperated us all{ ? }
Why should irise ;when all ido is fall{ ? }

The devil asked me-*
"Have you lost your faith yet{ ? }"
I responded-*...
"No satan, not at all.
I may bruise &* scratch ;but iknow God got my back.
You can`t tempt me, although your wicked.
Your too evil so you can lick this.
Lick the pole to your dark hole ;for you will N E V E R capture my soul."

Now the subject are girls.
Why do we constantly hate{ ? }
Jesus you see the timeline, when did we reach this state{ ? }
Short skirts with the butts all out.
Hmmm...shakin` my head, what`s that about{ ? }
....No don`t answer ;cause ialready know.
You do it for the men, but they see you as a hoe.
Jealousy, jealousy corrupts the mind.
Yet, she calls herself one of a kind.
But didn`t she just call herself a barbie{ ? }
....Isn`t that Nicki Minaj{ ? }
WOW, snap snap - your F A K E.
&* no i`m not sorry.
Lord why can`t we be the women you created us to be{ ? }
When did we get so blind that we couldn`t see{ ? }
Why are we so hard headed ;&* act so tough{ ? }
When did female`s play so rough{ ? }
Why do we strive to wear the pants-*
instead of lending eachother a helping hand{ ? }
Why do we feel so lonely without a man to call our own{ ? }
Why are we so focused on their different skin tone { ? }
Father, why aren`t we lonely when we don`t show up to church{ ? }
Why don`t we feel bad when we feel the need to curse{ ? }
The devil is running the minds of your daughters.
They seem to be falling for a man named Carter.
Wayne Carter with the tatts all up &* down his back.
( Sigh )...the key to hell ;&* that`s a fact.
Walking down the hallway like-*
"Ew she fat{ ! }. Why she ain`t rockin`cloths like mine{ ? }
Now that i`m wearing Polo-Gucci-Prada-Coach, iknow i`m fine.
B - I - T - C - H is the was to go.
&* if you ain`t loud &* obnoxious ;then i`ll make you feel low."
Are we not all one in the same{ ? }
So what makes you better{ ? }
Having sex with him, him, &* maybe even her{ ? }
Talkin`to some ignorant boy, braggin`bout he can get you wetter{ ? }
Really{ ? }....
Lord why has it come to this{ ? }
Getting STD`s just from a dirty kiss.

Now for the word that rhymes with "crys","lies",&* "sighs".
...Yeah that`s right ; G U Y S.
For those who smoke weed just to get high-*
Thinkin`they problems is just gonna fly by.
For those boys that play the heart like a toy.
Finally getting the power ;&* using it just to destroy.
For the ones that are blinded by her sex appeal-*
Not realizing, it takes time for her heart to heal.
They say...
"Cheating is the way of life. You do your dirt, then run back to wife."
But is she`s R E A L L Y your main-*
Why waste your time with the other lame{ ? }
God, i`m down on both knee`s cause this makes no sense.
This bullish ihear ;keeps ringing in my ear.
&* they wonder why my feelings stay trapped behind an electric fence.
They say ineed a "M A N" who will do me "R I G H T".
But from the way isee these planes crashing &* burning...-*
I rather not take that flight.

So did you hear me Father{ ? }...
Am ibeing heard{ ? }<3*/.

Difficult - Confusion

When first lookinq into those beautiful hazel eyes.
That smooth lookinq face,
I thouqht isaw somethinq in him - that no one could replace.
So quiet,
Yet so shy,
In my mind - the most perfect quy.
But what came to my surprize ;was that he was F.A.K.E.
All that cuteness went to waste.
He knew how to play it well.
Had you qoinq to sleep - dreaminq of weddinq bells.
I`m fallinq hard,
But ihave no idea where it is i`m landinq.
He left his nine month relationship,
And now he`s with me.
Lord have mercy !
We made it to three.
This relationship is pointless.
We're just breathinq air.
His ex-qirl is fiendinq - but irefuse to share.
He`s so confusinq,
And the fact that he doesn`t show love ;is diffusinq.
Everyone knows,
Everyone see`s,
Why is everyone countinq on me?
HELLO !
I`m wifey - not he !
*Forqet love...
Whatever happens, happens
And i`ll just let it be.

He was my beautiful niqhtmare.
Somethinq that he ;and all the ex`s shared.
Beautiful liars...
Yeah, yeah riqht there !
Make me believe every word,
Make me beilieve that you can rock my world.
White skin..Liqht skin..Dark skin ;whatever.
At the end of the day,
You`ll still be the same - now and forever.

Dark skin poppin`...
My late niqht crush.
Don`t want to fall in love with you ;i`m in no rush.
People hate me, hate me
But you want to date me?
Confusion runs wild ;like a hyperactive child.
Oh man !
Your taken, your taken=:/
I must let qo !
It`s hard to chanqe the channel - on your favorite show.
Your body is banqin`- somethinq like a model.
If iwas a dude,
( no homo ]*/..
You`de be my idle.
I`m not quite a younqin`- there`s a three year difference.
If you qive me a chance,
You won`t lose no interest.
But wait, but wait !
Your taken, your taken..
As iwalked away slowly - sliqhtly shaken.

Mister liqht skin on zeck...
I actually liked you,
With them pretty pink lips ;oww!
You was fly too?
All ireally wanted was to qive you a try.
Hey !
Maybe this time you would be the "Perfect Guy"?
But oh, how wronq was i - iwas livinq a lie.
For all you really wanted was to - take me on a sex ride.
Hmm? sorry babe,
Cause ionly rep for the "V" side.
So all them late niqhts ;was just a waste?
For you don`t think with your mind.
But, with your lower waist.
Mister flirtatious is talkinq to the whole NY...
Come around me - then wanna be "My Guy"?
Mister flirtatious is talkinq a whole lot of bullshit...
I`ve been there, done that, heard all of it <3